“The edge of the keenest sorrow wears with time and perhaps Heaven’s kindest gifts to men are sleep for the fleeting cares of the day and forgetfulness for the deep-seated injuries of the heart.”
~ C. Rajagopalachari in his Ramayana
Does that quote resonate with you?
From where I sit with my cuppa black coffee on this rainy morning, I’m not so sure what I think about that quote. Throughout my adult life, I have experienced pretty serious grief a handful of times, and those sorrows did get better with the passing of time (and a lot of crying)… But, tomorrow marks one calendar month since my Dad died, and this grief of losing a parent is a whole new level of emotional pain that I had not experienced before. It is just terrible, and it is difficult to imagine ever feeling better.
One nice feature of this blog is the search box… Last night I typed in the word “grief” and re-read some of my own posts about grief… (And I discovered that I had already written a post with the same title as today’s post, so that’s why I added the word “Again”, smiley face!) If you or someone you know is now grieving, these posts might be helpful so I’ll put the links here ~
One of the stranger aspects of grief is the shock and denial stage. Over this past month, I find that I alternate between the cushion of shock, with thoughts like, “This didn’t really happen… He couldn’t have really died…” and the pain of reality with thoughts like, “His body is buried in the Earth… we will never see him in the physical again…” With regards to this musing, I must say that I much prefer the barrier that the shock provides. When I’m in the shock, the pain softens because everything feels unreal, fuzzy, numb, and even surreal. Even though, in the back of my mind, I know that he really died, the shock makes me feel like it is all a bad dream and soon I will wake up and my Dad will be here like before…
But I am intelligent, so I know logically that he is actually gone forever from the physical realm… Grief definitely muddles the mind! Can you relate?
After my Dad died I took a few weeks off from blogging, and when I returned to my great love of blogging I didn’t know how often I would post… Well, if you’ve been following this blog then you know that I have been posting daily (this is the 11th day in a row)… And I think I need to slow down the pace, because I am feeling pretty overwhelmed. It is natural to feel easily stressed when grieving, so that is why it is recommended to be easy on yourself. Great sorrow requires great self-love and tender self-care. So, I will still be posting here, but I’m really going to try to slow down the pace! 🙂
Thank you so much for reading my musings on grief today. I hope this post is helpful to you or to someone you love.
With much, much love,
Photo by Gabriele Ibba on Unsplash.