“My failings have become my adornments.”
~ Rama’s brother Bharata, speaking in the Shri Ramacharitamanasa by Tulsidas.
The practice of taking stock can be helpful for anyone, regardless of your current status — essential worker, working from home, unemployed, unable to work, retired, billionaire overseeing charitable works, and any other categories that I’m forgetting…
As we are now already one-third (gasp!) through 2020, this is a very good time for all of us to assess, both personally and collectively, who we are and where we are heading. Without ruminating over the past and what could have been, we can take a little time to review our successes and failures in order to make good decisions for our paths forward.
In Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Yoda reminded Luke that failure is the greatest teacher. Well, I have sure had my share of failings in the past decade! The one that’s really haunting me is how I feel that I failed with my Dad. When he died suddenly in January, I had been living with my parents as a boomeranger for the past two years, and I had been struggling internally with how irritated I felt with some of my Dad’s habits and some sounds he made. They were small things really, but they annoyed me greatly.
Even though I didn’t tell my Dad about my irritations, and even though I was working on them inside myself, and even though I was actually making progress in cultivating loving-kindness, good vibes, and gratitude, I still feel that I failed.
But, the Zen Buddhist Master Thich Nhat Hanh says that transformation is always possible. He says we can always achieve reconciliation inside ourselves, even if the other person has died… So I am endeavoring to accept that I did the best I could at the time, and to learn from that experience, so that going forward I won’t have to live with that kind of regret again.
The practice of taking stock reveals that as I am recovering from a decade of failures, I am now restoring my power and wearing my failings as adornments.
Can you relate to my story? When you review your last decade, can you face your failings? Can you wear them as adornments now?
With forward-going energies,
Photo by isaac on Unsplash.