Letting Go of Trying to Be the Best

Dear readers, are you trying to be the best at something? If so, are you succeeding?

What motivates us humans to try to be the best at things?

In my life story, as a young stay-at-home mama, I wanted to be the best mom ever. Looking ahead, I had a vision for our two sons’ adolescent years, in which our house would be the hub where all their friends would want to hang out and eat all the great food I would prepare for them…

Well, that plan seriously did not work out, because my former husband and I divorced when the boys were 3 and 6, and as we began the two-house reality, I quickly discovered that my highly sensitive nervous system could not handle a lot of crazy kid energies in a small cottage. And then I changed to a plant-based diet, so our sons preferred the food at papa’s house. My goal of being the best mom crumbled as I struggled to just be a “good enough” mom.

Then, when our sons were in high school, I went to hypnotherapy school and I decided that I wanted to try to be the best hypnotherapist in the world so that my sons would be proud of how successful their mama was in her career…

Well, that plan seriously did not work out either, because the debilitating symptoms of Fibromyalgia kept me from being able to work as much as I would have needed to in order to succeed. And also I moved to a really big city and I could not handle the noise and traffic. My dream to be the best hypnotherapist fell apart, and I came home to live with my parents as a boomeranger, which isn’t exactly a status for the sons to be proud of!

Somewhere along that trajectory, I realized that my sons love me anyway, just for who I am, and so I don’t have to be the best anything for them.

But for myself… I still want to be somebody and to do something.

Can you relate to my story?

 

Photo of Mama Teja and her younger son Gabe, by the Ohio River in Newburgh, Indiana, during his visit last week! 🙂

 

Share Your Strengths Not Your Weaknesses

Once I opened a tea bag and the quote on the little tag read, “Share your strengths, not your weaknesses.” (Yogi Bhajan) I’m not sure I totally agree with that advice. It seems like many people need to share both. Do you share both? If so, how do you find a balance with sharing your strengths and your weaknesses?

It does seem important to share some of our weaknesses, in the interests of authenticity and transparency, but I have noticed, like on Facebook, that people seem to only want and tolerate a tiny portion of the real grit, and the rest of the time they want positivity.

Recently I experienced that reaction myself. A friend had told me about this guy on YouTube who gives tarot card readings for the astrological signs. Being an Aquarius, I watched some of his videos for that sign. He was very funny and uplifting (although at times he was a bit too crude for my sensibilities), and he seemed very successful. I felt really inspired by him… Until, in one of the videos he shared the truth of his situation. He is 36 years old and is living in a room at his Dad’s house, and even though he has 32,000 subscribers on his channel, he had not given a tarot card reading (and thus had received zero income), for a few weeks.

Well, I certainly understood, as a boomeranger myself, and I left him an encouraging message in the comments section… But, even though I understood, I still found myself feeling disappointed. I realized that I had assumed that he was quite wealthy and successful since he had so many subscribers, and that gave me hope that someday, with a bigger following, maybe I would also be successful financially. (I am still holding out hope! I am not the kind of nun that takes a poverty vow… I am taking the prosperity vow!)

So, even though I think it is important for people to share honestly, in that situation I found myself only wanting to hear a success story! Can you relate to my reaction?